Mixed Thoughts

First Project ReMiX of the year was today. Sponsored by CBCSA, El Centro Chicano, and APASS, the discussion based events occur once a month, and began just last year. I went to one and really enjoyed it, but conflicting schedules made it so I couldn't go to more. I was looking forward to this year's line up of Project ReMiXes.

Except I didn't leave this one thrilled?

Maybe it's because I wasn't in a great mood to start with. Maybe it's because my mindset on race issues has changed a bit, especially regarding my own ethnic make up.


Being mixed is interesting. It gives me a wide perspective that very few people can share. I feel that it benefits me a lot in life, as I have learned a lot about people, culture, diversity, and heart. And yet being mixed does not define me. Yes, I am President of HapaSC. But we are a Social/Cultural club that focuses on bringing people of diverse backgrounds together, creating an open environment where everyone can feel welcome, whatever their mix. It isn't about defining and splicing our mixes. It's about recognizing our differences and celebrating our similarities.

And we are far more similar than different. For instance, we all love food. And we adore the fact that, because we're so ethnically mixed, we can eat a different cuisine at every event.


We also love having a University Recognized Organization that we can actually be a part of, where we don't feel out of place. For instance, I've never participated with CASA, even though I am half Chinese. Maybe it's my own insecurity, but I never felt Chinese enough. Even though I love my culture. Maybe it's that I never felt Chinese enough for them, by their standards.

So many people hang out with us (coming to our meetings, events, and parties) that aren't mixed at all. I have no idea why. Maybe because you don't have to feel mixed to feel the pressures of the social construct of "race." Which IS a social construct, by the way. I know plenty of people who are mixed but LOOK white, and therefore are deemed racially white. Although I look at them and think of them as ethnically mixed.

What do they consider themselves? Depends on the person, how they were raised, what they value, etc.


I am mixed, and it has helped shape who I am today. I think that I am a better person because of it. I am not defined by my ethnic make up, however, and this is where I ran into problems with Project ReMiX today. There was too much definition of being mixed. Mixed RACE for that matter. Ethnicities and, more importantly, cultures are fascinating. Race? Not fascinating. Race has a dark history. At one point during Project ReMiX we split off into small group discussions. When trying to respond to the question "What does it mean to be multiracial today?", our answers were all over the place. We all seemed to have some issue with the usage of the word "race."

Anyway.

I learned something about myself today. I have grown past trying to define myself in other people's eyes, in society's social constructs. I've already been there, done that. Endured it. I don't need to be witty or wry (answering the inevitable question, "what are you?" with, "a human being, what are YOU?"). I am what I am, I think how I think. I appreciate my cultural background, and I honestly think that I have stepped one step beyond most people because I am done trying to define people. Judge people. People who judge based on appearances irritate me.

I'll be going back to Project ReMiX because it's an event that HapaSC supports, and because every ReMiX theme is different. As the group of people change from month to month, so does the dialogue that takes place. I won't be looking forward to it as much as I have in the past, however, because there was something that didn't sit well with me at this one.

I think the bottom line is, those who are involved in spreading the Mixed agenda are focusing on, in my opinion, the wrong things. Maybe it's cliche to say "can't we all just get along?" but really, can't we? And getting along isn't ignoring our pasts. It's talking about it, confronting it, sharing it, appreciating it, and THEN getting along. Because we aren't judging anyone by their past, or their present, or their future. We're just recognizing our differences and celebrating our similarities.